05.18.10
Heebus is gonna hafta choke a bitch
00:45:38 heebus good evening
09:13:49 dooshette you there
09:13:53 dooshette wanna know something
09:13:57 dooshette i passed the bar bitches!!!!
09:52:27 heebus wooooooooooooooo
09:52:36 heebus the world has another jewish lawyer
09:52:40 heebus we are that much safer 
10:28:52 dooshette lol
10:32:00 heebus congrats
10:32:03 heebus do you have a job now?
10:48:09 dooshette ive had a job
10:48:11 dooshette same job
10:48:14 dooshette still working here
10:49:02 heebus dooshette esquire
11:29:05 dooshette ew
11:29:07 dooshette that last name has to go
11:29:10 dooshette it really is terrible
11:29:36 heebus what would you like it to be?
11:29:42 heebus dont say my last name, im never getting married
14:00:01 dooshette ohhh now youre never getting married!
14:00:02 dooshette hahahaha
14:00:03 dooshette why
14:00:07 dooshette soooo funny
14:00:20 dooshette when this all started you wanted to get married and i couldnt commit
14:00:26 dooshette now i want to get married and youre never getting married
14:00:34 dooshette guess online dating can make you a jaded person
14:05:58 heebus well
14:06:02 heebus ive always felt this way
14:06:07 heebus i just was denying it to myself
14:06:13 heebus i didnt want marriage
14:06:19 heebus i wanted committed sex
14:20:13 dooshette what do you have against marriage
14:24:16 heebus there is no benefit to a man to get married
14:32:04 dooshette wow
14:32:06 dooshette im sorry you feel that way
14:32:40 heebus why? can you explain to me the benefit?
14:37:52 dooshette children
14:38:00 dooshette someone who knows you inside and out
14:38:04 dooshette someone to take care of you
14:38:09 dooshette fuck you and feed you when you get home
14:38:15 dooshette tell you how awesome you are all the time
14:38:21 dooshette send you to work with home cooked lunched
14:38:25 dooshette keep you in a clean house
14:38:33 dooshette be nice arm candy for your functions
14:38:41 dooshette to put up with your bullshit for eternity because she loves you
14:38:45 dooshette and loves your bullshit
14:38:49 dooshette even if it pissed her off
14:38:58 dooshette someone who will ALWAYS stroke your ego
14:39:01 dooshette and actually mean it
14:39:09 dooshette and who will ALWAYS stroke anything else you want
14:39:11 dooshette and mean that too
14:39:16 dooshette a lifetime of head
14:39:20 dooshette sex
14:39:23 dooshette anal sex
14:39:30 dooshette whatever other fantasies you might have
14:39:36 dooshette extra income
14:39:45 dooshette a lifetime travel companion
14:39:48 heebus ok extra income is a benefit
14:39:54 heebus but marriage doesnt guarantee any of those
14:40:18 dooshette nothing is guaranteed in life
14:40:23 dooshette nobody said it does
14:40:33 heebus the only thing guaranteed is alimony
14:40:34 dooshette but theres far more of a guarantee for all that married
14:40:38 dooshette than there is single
14:40:41 dooshette and if you marry the right person
14:40:47 heebus thats a big if
14:41:01 dooshette well i would think you would trust yourself enough not to marry the wrong person
14:41:09 dooshette and not to get married unless you know shes the right person
14:41:13 dooshette and besides
14:41:15 dooshette in fifty years
14:41:23 dooshette not having any of that even if ALL of it isnt guaranteed
14:41:27 dooshette is going to be really fucking old
14:41:35 dooshette the bottom line is
14:41:37 heebus you are only proving my point, i dont think ill ever get married because i dont think two people can love
each other that long
14:41:38 dooshette nobody wants to die alone
14:41:45 dooshette well ive seen it
14:41:52 dooshette multiple times
14:41:57 dooshette which i guess is why i want it
14:42:07 dooshette and cant imagine my life without it
14:42:10 dooshette you know when my dad died
14:42:12 heebus most people i know come from divorced families
14:42:19 dooshette there were two things that made him ok with dying
14:42:22 dooshette me and my mom
14:42:34 heebus listen im not opposed to it
14:42:36 dooshette and believe me when i tell you they werent all roses
14:42:42 heebus im just ok with being single until i find the right one
14:42:56 dooshette well thats totally different than being against marriage
14:43:05 dooshette who the hell ISNT against marrying the wrong person
14:43:15 heebus most people dont care
14:43:22 dooshette most people do care
14:43:24 heebus how many girls do you know that are in marriage mode
14:43:28 dooshette they just thikn theyve made the right decision
14:43:32 dooshette because they are impatient
14:43:34 dooshette in marriage mode
14:43:39 dooshette and dont think before they do shit
14:43:44 heebus yeah
14:43:44 dooshette but its not because they dont care
14:43:46 heebus ok
14:43:48 heebus fair enough
14:43:49 dooshette its because they were dumbasses
14:43:52 heebus most people are dumb
14:43:56 dooshette yeah
14:44:02 dooshette well i dont put you in that category
14:44:07 dooshette i hear it all the time
14:44:09 heebus which is why im single
14:44:31 heebus i want someone smart, not fat, smart, maybe smart, and preferrably with their own income because im too
selfish
14:45:07 heebus a lot of my friends seem to be in sexless marriages after they had a kid
14:45:12 heebus i think ill adopt
14:45:23 dooshette you could probably stand to hold off on marriage for about 5-10 years i think
14:45:32 heebus i like the way you think
14:45:45 heebus i have two friends that got married recently
14:45:47 heebus they dated for 10 years
14:45:53 heebus why get married! they had it perfect
14:46:06 dooshette well you just became wholly undesireable
14:46:09 dooshette and if you dont want to get married
14:46:16 dooshette just tell all the girls you date
14:46:19 dooshette the same shit you just told me
14:46:20 heebus oh you didnt think i was desirable before
14:46:23 dooshette and you should NOT have ANY problem
14:46:33 heebus haha
14:46:40 heebus thats like a girl talking about making babies on date one
14:46:42 dooshette i htought you were desireable husband material
14:46:58 dooshette i just didnt want a husband
14:46:58 heebus awesome
14:47:06 heebus i get that a lot
14:47:10 dooshette now youre like super desireable bachelor material
14:47:16 heebus sweet
14:47:19 heebus thats been my goal
14:47:22 dooshette but i wouldnt marry you with that attitude if you were the last man on earth
14:47:23 heebus to stop being the nice guy
14:47:34 heebus if i was the last man, marriage wouldnt mean anything
14:47:36 dooshette yeah well all that crap about being the nice guy
14:47:37 dooshette its true
14:47:51 dooshette when youre dealing with girls who dont want to get married either
14:47:54 dooshette so you should be just fine
14:47:55 heebus yep
14:48:00 heebus im good these days
14:48:06 dooshette thats all that matters
14:48:12 heebus im the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet
14:48:12 dooshette you keep telling yourself that 
14:48:17 dooshette talk to me in 5 years
14:48:24 dooshette see how much fun youre having then
14:48:29 dooshette and then 10 years after that
14:48:30 heebus at the rate we talk to each other, that will be the next time
14:48:39 dooshette when the only women left to date have ex husbands and lots of kids
14:48:47 dooshette wow
14:48:49 heebus there will still be girls in their 20s
14:48:51 dooshette you really are an asshole!
14:49:00 dooshette yeah and you live in LA honey
14:49:03 dooshette if youre not ryan seacrest
14:49:09 dooshette have some hollywood connections
14:49:17 dooshette or arent a hot actor
14:49:20 dooshette forget about it
14:49:35 dooshette those girls prob arent too fond of the scientifically minded larper types!~
14:49:36 heebus when im 40 i can marry a 29 year old
14:49:43 heebus hey, i dont larp
14:49:45 dooshette good luck with that
14:50:11 heebus thanks, always so nice 
14:50:19 dooshette i was nice
14:50:28 dooshette until you started snubbing me
14:50:33 heebus snubbing you?
14:51:08 dooshette there were a couple of not so nice jabs back there
14:51:16 dooshette like about the frequency with which we talk
14:51:27 heebus oh well , who can blame me for that
14:51:34 heebus you never initiate contact
14:51:40 heebus and remember how long it took us to meet?
14:51:47 heebus and how long it took to hang out a second time?
14:52:34 dooshette well it just makes PERFECT sense to bitch at me NOW about all that
14:52:43 dooshette and FYI
14:52:44 heebus i did bitch at you back then
14:52:46 dooshette you are NEVER on IM
14:52:52 dooshette or atleast you dont appear on IM
14:52:58 heebus i dont appear on now?
14:53:16 dooshette well im sure you do now since your IM’ing me but youre usually in the “offline” space
14:53:47 heebus i swear my AIM is always on
14:53:58 heebus but look now and tell me, since i dont use the normal AIM program
14:54:25 dooshette yes you are online now
14:54:43 heebus well whatever
14:54:57 heebus the way you acted in the past is partly responsible for how i am now
14:55:05 heebus i thought i had a great connection with you
14:55:09 heebus and you were just unavailable
14:55:17 dooshette OH MY HOLY HELL IN A HANDBASKET
14:55:17 heebus and now that im over it, you are available
14:55:20 heebus haha
14:55:23 dooshette that is incredibly lame
14:55:25 heebus yes im blaming you
14:55:27 heebus but i dont care
14:55:31 heebus i think it made me a better person
14:55:40 dooshette we like went on what A DATE
14:55:49 dooshette and I turned you into this awful marriage hating man
14:55:53 dooshette are you f’ng serious
14:55:55 heebus we went on one date, we communicated a lot
14:55:59 heebus not just you
14:56:04 dooshette because if youre serious thats just pathetic
14:56:04 heebus im using you as an example
14:56:13 dooshette hey listen man
14:56:14 heebus of how girls treat guys and change them
14:56:16 dooshette timing is everything
14:56:20 heebus i know
14:56:21 dooshette oh please
14:56:29 dooshette you know how shitty MEN treat WOMEN
14:56:33 dooshette ive been cheated on
14:56:39 heebus yeah we are scumbags
14:56:41 dooshette but that didnt turn me into some marriage hating a-hole
14:56:43 heebus but we admit it
14:56:58 heebus listen i dont hate marriage
14:57:03 heebus i hate everyone elses marriage
14:57:15 dooshette yeah except the difference between you and i is that I dont blame dudes or the things ive been thru
14:57:31 heebus im really only blaming myself
14:57:40 heebus for allowing myself to go through certain things
14:57:42 dooshette youve become jaded and delusional
14:57:44 dooshette and you know why
14:57:47 heebus but i dont think my standpoint is wrong
14:57:54 heebus im not delusional
14:57:56 heebus jaded yes
14:57:57 dooshette because you fucking did that internet crap voraciously
14:58:04 dooshette instead of just letting life unfold
14:58:12 heebus i did let life unfold
14:58:15 heebus it wasnt good to me
14:58:16 dooshette you went on JDATE nonetheless where you couldnt find a worse bunch of girls
14:58:26 heebus how is jdate different than the rest of LA?
14:59:05 dooshette because they are ALL crazy jewish bitches on their last leg stalking the internet for a fucking husband
to shut the yentahs up about “when ah ya gettin maaaahried” bullshit
14:59:08 dooshette thats why
14:59:21 dooshette let me ask you this
14:59:32 heebus i dont see how thats different than all jewish girls in LA
14:59:34 dooshette how many dates have you been on that werent internet dating related
14:59:41 heebus a handful
14:59:49 dooshette what is a handful
14:59:59 dooshette less than 5 more than 10
15:00:03 dooshette give me a number
15:00:13 heebus less than 10 girls ive gone on a date with are not from the internet
15:00:47 dooshette LMAO
15:00:49 dooshette i rest my case
15:00:55 heebus im sorry, what did you prove?
15:00:55 dooshette we should talk abou tthis in person
15:01:19 heebus we know how that ended last time
15:01:37 heebus you got mad i didnt choke you
15:01:39 dooshette that youve had this one track tunnel vision love life and its ridiculous to act like an old unmarried
jewish chick
15:01:39 heebus
15:01:42 dooshette I DID NOT
15:02:07 heebus i wish i had that conversation saved
15:02:55 dooshette well you probably manipulated me to say that
15:03:01 dooshette i told you i was just mad that you were like
15:03:10 dooshette laying there and then go “why dont you just get on top”
15:03:15 heebus haha how would i manipulate someone to say that?
15:03:28 dooshette like … thanks man…can you please leave the money on my nightstand on your way out’
15:03:40 heebus what? i like you on top
15:03:42 heebus its fun
15:05:11 dooshette okey dokey loosher
15:06:51 heebus i always liked when you called me that
15:08:15 dooshette for the record
15:08:18 dooshette it was looshymonster
15:08:24 dooshette or just looshy
15:08:28 dooshette never loosher
15:08:36 dooshette that just sounded a lot like loser
15:08:46 dooshette and i feel its appropriate for you
15:08:49 heebus well doosher sounds worse
15:08:54 dooshette until you bring the real looshymonster back
15:09:11 heebus is that the one you want to marry?
15:10:02 dooshette i dont really know him either
15:10:12 dooshette but if hes anything like loosher then HELL MOTHA FUCKIN NO
15:18:34 dooshette i have to listen to some bullshit thats even more bullshit that the bullshit youve been spewing at me
all afternoon!
15:18:36 dooshette lol
15:19:10 heebus id like to spew something at you later in the evening
15:19:49 dooshette yeah well i have no desire to fuck someone who has no desire to do anything but fuck me
15:19:51 dooshette thanks though
15:20:03 heebus haha, i have always enjoyed you as a person
15:20:08 heebus you just never wanted to hang out
15:30:34 dooshette ok so lets hangout
15:30:58 dooshette can we hang out w/out me having to feel like we have to fuck at the end of the day?
15:32:09 dooshette or did that just take your whole purpose out of it?!
15:39:30 heebus haha yep pretty much