04.04.10
Posted in um yeah at 10:33 pm by Heebus
00:26:27 < @heebus> story time!
00:26:38 < @heebus> so today was a horrible day for me
00:26:51 < @heebus> had to fly to the bay area for work
00:26:58 < @heebus> 8am flight cancelled
00:27:00 < @heebus> got on the 9am
00:27:09 < @heebus> 4pm flight delayed 2 hours
00:27:14 < @heebus> i had a date for 630
00:27:20 < @heebus> i got into LA at 715
00:27:22 < @heebus> called the girl
00:27:29 < @heebus> she said “omg where are you, i want you here”
00:27:37 < @heebus> so i race over to her place and get there at 8
00:27:50 < @heebus> i have a car bomb, and a shot of jameson
00:27:53 < @heebus> i meet all her roomies
00:27:56 < @heebus> and her friends
00:28:00 < @heebus> we are all having a good time
00:28:12 < @heebus> shes all over me, kissing me cheek, touching me, rubbing my
shoulders
00:28:19 < @heebus> at1030 she needs to go to bed to get up early
00:28:23 < @heebus> so i walk her to her room
00:28:30 < @heebus> i try to kiss her and she turns her head
00:28:34 < @heebus> i ask her whats wrong
00:28:39 < @heebus> she says “i like you as a friend”
00:28:52 < @heebus> so i get up off her bed, i pick up my beer and pound it
00:29:03 < @heebus> she says “im so happy you are pounding your beer before you
drive”
00:29:16 < @heebus> i say “im not driving, im meeting my friends down the
street, see you later”
00:37:02 < @fungo> sounds like fun
00:37:06 < @heebus> yeah
00:37:09 < @heebus> next song!
Permalink
Posted in um yeah at 10:30 pm by Heebus
SmallScreenGal: hi Jewberg
Jewberg: shhh its late
SmallScreenGal: oh ok
SmallScreenGal: then why are you online?
Jewberg: because
Jewberg: why not?
SmallScreenGal: why do you use this site if you don’t ask girls out?
Jewberg: oh i do
SmallScreenGal: or maybe you do and i’m just not one of them
Jewberg: ive been on 300 dates from here
SmallScreenGal: i’m so sure of that
SmallScreenGal: 300?
SmallScreenGal: you are weird
SmallScreenGal: and I am drunk
SmallScreenGal: so we are even
Jewberg: haha im serious
SmallScreenGal: and I’m sad and want to throw eggs at my ex-boyfriend’s house
Jewberg: drunk on a thursday…
SmallScreenGal: i had to go to this networking event…
SmallScreenGal: it blew
Jewberg: you obviously need some sex
SmallScreenGal: I have no voice left from it
SmallScreenGal: why did you go on 300 dates?
SmallScreenGal: yeah, i probably do
Jewberg: probably?
Jewberg: wouldnt you go on 300 dates if you could?
SmallScreenGal: yeah, probably
SmallScreenGal: for girls tthat is exhausting
SmallScreenGal: getting ready 300 times
SmallScreenGal: i am exhausted getting ready for the stupid thing tonight
SmallScreenGal: I am amazing and wonderful and my ex is the biggest idiot on the planet
SmallScreenGal: he was afraid of commitment
SmallScreenGal: are you afraid of that too?
Jewberg: all guys are
Jewberg: we just want sex
SmallScreenGal: and he dumped before we had sex
Jewberg: and food
Jewberg: and some silence
Jewberg: …
SmallScreenGal: he said he wouldn’t do that to me
SmallScreenGal: he was trying “To be nice”
SmallScreenGal: but i don’t know, i feel it hurts more…
SmallScreenGal: DO NOT put this on your blog
Jewberg: you call someone you never had sex with your boyfriend?
SmallScreenGal: if you do, change my name
SmallScreenGal: well he stayed with me for 5 months
Jewberg: sisalknkadslkndaslkn
SmallScreenGal: so why did he stick around?
Jewberg: what the fuck
SmallScreenGal: yep..
Jewberg: you dated a virgin
SmallScreenGal: no
SmallScreenGal: I’m a virgin
SmallScreenGal: he’s been with a lot of girls
Jewberg: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jewberg: that makes it all so much clearer
Jewberg: what the eff are you a virgin at 26
SmallScreenGal: but then he told me he dumped me not because of the virgin thing
SmallScreenGal: because I didn’t have a BF till 24
SmallScreenGal: or my first kiss
SmallScreenGal: I was 50 lbs heavier and never tried to date or thought that guys like me
Jewberg: right, he lied
Jewberg: black guys love fat chicks
SmallScreenGal: lovely
SmallScreenGal: I don’t wnat a black guy
SmallScreenGal: and I’m not that fat anymore
SmallScreenGal: i know other girls who are about my age and virgins though
Jewberg: im just saying, no matter how fat you get, there wll always be a black guy to love yo long time
Jewberg: are they all persian?
Jewberg: or just really lame
SmallScreenGal: the 2nd
SmallScreenGal: one is religious
SmallScreenGal: one is not very attractive…
SmallScreenGal: another girl is religious too/doesn’t know how to get guys
Jewberg: …
SmallScreenGal: so I’ve gone farther than the rest!
SmallScreenGal: haha
Jewberg: you need to stop hanging out with these people
SmallScreenGal: i know
Jewberg: and get laid
SmallScreenGal: i went out with better girls tonight
Jewberg: and then try to find a bf
SmallScreenGal: i know!!
SmallScreenGal: I told my ex
Jewberg: because no guy wants to date a virgin
SmallScreenGal: why can’t we just have sex?
SmallScreenGal: he really f-ed with me
Jewberg: because he doesnt wnat you getting attached
Jewberg: no no
SmallScreenGal: it’s not fair cuz now I’ve gotta try to do this all over again with another perosn
Jewberg: you fucked yourself
Jewberg: you should have dumped him the first time he said no
Jewberg: no
Jewberg: heres what you do
Jewberg: you go out with one girl friend
Jewberg: find a guy you like
Jewberg: take him home
SmallScreenGal: the first time he said no?
Jewberg: put a condom on his weenie
Jewberg: and enjoy
Jewberg: rinse and repeat as desired
Jewberg: once youve had enough, find a bf
Jewberg: not on here
Jewberg: this place is no different than a bar
SmallScreenGal: what do you mean not on here?
Jewberg: this is a horrible place to find a bf
Jewberg: but a good place to get laid
SmallScreenGal: well I found him here
Jewberg: SEE
Jewberg: you just proved my point
SmallScreenGal: he slept with lots of girls and was willing to take it slow with me
Jewberg: oy
Jewberg: no
Jewberg: thats not what happened
SmallScreenGal: ok, then enligthen me
Jewberg: he was either cheating on your or a virgin
Jewberg: because no man who has had sex is going to wait 5 months
SmallScreenGal: he wasn’t
Jewberg: unless hes embarrased of his small penis
SmallScreenGal: we tried to have sex…
Jewberg: wtf
Jewberg: what does that mean
SmallScreenGal: he always picked a very bad time so I wouldn’t go thru with it
SmallScreenGal: like i knew he couldn’t stay the night
Jewberg: why does he have to stay the night?
SmallScreenGal: he wouldn’t even buy me drinks to make me less nervous
Jewberg: …
SmallScreenGal: I don’t know
SmallScreenGal: yeah, i screwed myself
SmallScreenGal: whatever
SmallScreenGal: now i have ot live with this
Jewberg: next song
SmallScreenGal: well thanks for helping me try to make sense of it at least
Jewberg: no problem
Jewberg: remember guys are scum
SmallScreenGal: haha
Jewberg: we just want sex with no comittment
Jewberg: always count on this
SmallScreenGal: so you never want a real girlfriend>
Jewberg: use it to your advantage
Jewberg: i do, if shes hot and smart and makes good money
Jewberg: otherwise, whats the point?
SmallScreenGal: i odn’t know how to use it to my advantage..
Jewberg: its easy
Jewberg: go up to a guy
Jewberg: and say
Jewberg: hey, want to go back to my place?
Jewberg: 9/10 times it will be yes
SmallScreenGal: what if he has genital herpes or something?
Jewberg: inspect that shit
Jewberg: look for a nerdy guy
SmallScreenGal: haha
Jewberg: a poindexter
Jewberg: go to an internet cafe
SmallScreenGal: lol
Jewberg: and get the guy playing world of warcraft
Jewberg: i guarantee he has nothing
Jewberg: except bad skin and empty mountain dew cans
SmallScreenGal: lol
SmallScreenGal: u are quite funny
SmallScreenGal: thanks again for your help
Jewberg: no problem
SmallScreenGal: well you really think they are gonna wanna deal with a virgin?
SmallScreenGal: or i just don’t tell them?
Jewberg: dont tell them
Jewberg: also dont cry afterwards
Jewberg: guys dont like that
SmallScreenGal: yeah i figured
Jewberg: talk dirty to him
Jewberg: we like that
SmallScreenGal: considering my ex couldn’t deal with me cuz i cried so much when we broke up
Jewberg: yeah we dont like emotions
Jewberg: we wnat you to fuck us
Jewberg: then let us go to bed
Jewberg: then let us watch football
SmallScreenGal: wow
Jewberg: you can watch too
SmallScreenGal: you make me sad
Jewberg: but dont talk about anything but the game
SmallScreenGal: ha
Jewberg: you know what makes me sad?
Jewberg: when a girl complains about that stuff
Jewberg: the rest of the week we let you watch those dumb reality shows
Jewberg: and listen to how much you hate your coworkers
Jewberg: or how cute you think your cat is
SmallScreenGal: i hate cates
SmallScreenGal: er, cats
Jewberg: but we really are just doing it so you keep giving us BJs
SmallScreenGal: and i no longer have coworkers
SmallScreenGal: is that good?
SmallScreenGal: but yes, i did used to complain about my coworkers a lot
Jewberg: see i know you and ive never met you
Jewberg: to keep a guy you have to do one of two things
Jewberg: be one of the guys
SmallScreenGal: gues when you’ve been on 300 dates you learn something
Jewberg: find a pussy to date
SmallScreenGal: find a pussy to date?
SmallScreenGal: why are you on here right now?
Jewberg: yeah, a guy who is a pussy
SmallScreenGal: do you use the site just to get laid?
SmallScreenGal: oh yeah
SmallScreenGal: I dated a guy who was a pussy before this guy
Jewberg: i use this site for entertainment
Jewberg: sometimes its talking to drunk virgins at 1:30am
Jewberg: sometimes its to go on dates
Jewberg: i dont discriminate
Jewberg: entertainment comes in many forms
SmallScreenGal: well, it’s 1:35
SmallScreenGal: so beat that
SmallScreenGal: or i don’t know
Jewberg: alreayd did earlier
SmallScreenGal: well Jewberg I appreciate your wisdom
SmallScreenGal: for a drunk person I type pretty well though
Jewberg: congrats
SmallScreenGal: wait, do you know my real name?
SmallScreenGal: shoot, I hope not
Jewberg: you dont want me to
Jewberg: yo utold me when you linked your comedy
Jewberg: but ive forgotten
SmallScreenGal: well i dn’ want to find this convo somehwere
Jewberg: oh it will be there
Jewberg: this is hilaruous
Jewberg: hilarious
SmallScreenGal: it could ruin my reputation
Jewberg: reputation?
SmallScreenGal: don’t use my real name
Jewberg: as a drunk virgin emo girl on jdate at 1:30am?
SmallScreenGal: well not many poeple know i’m a virgin
SmallScreenGal: i’m not emo
SmallScreenGal: good night
Jewberg: night
Permalink
Posted in um yeah at 10:28 pm by Heebus
20:15:06 she is like my bff
20:16:31 hmm is she on jdate?
20:16:36 she is
20:16:40 because im pretty sure she hates me
20:16:46 why?
20:16:50 have u guys gone out?
20:16:54 because ive said not nice things to her before
20:17:00 like what
20:17:12 recently
20:17:21 she told me how much she weighs and i told her that i wont go out witha girl
who ways more than me
20:17:56 thats kinda mean
20:18:10 was this like yesterday or a while ago
20:18:40 like a couple of months ago
20:18:45 and she keeps IMing me
20:18:48 oye
20:18:54 did u guys go out
20:19:08 nope, who would go out with a jerk like me?
20:19:19 because she got really pissed at me like a week ago when she found out i
was talking to the same guy as her
20:19:23 well i am on thursday
20:19:30 i told u i like the jerks
20:19:57 unless i weight too much for u
20:20:02 how much do you weigh?
20:20:07 130
20:20:10 how tall?
20:20:15 5′2
20:20:22 thats cutting it close
20:20:35 well its life
20:20:44 how much do u weight?
20:20:58 175 and im 5′10
20:21:31 ok
20:22:02 well u decide if u wanna meet up on thursday or not
20:22:15 alright im going to think about it while i watch house, ttyl
20:22:25 ok u do taht
22:04:42 -!- rochelly98 [rochelly98@oscar] has quit [Leaving…]
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Posted in um yeah at 10:22 pm by Heebus
KmLDS: Hi
Jewberg: hows it going?
KmLDS: good, just celebrating the end of finals 
Jewberg: wooo congrats!
Jewberg: where do you go to school?
KmLDS: Thanks! USC
Jewberg: booo wrong school
Jewberg: 
KmLDS: uh oh
KmLDS: ucla?
Jewberg: haha i went to both
KmLDS: ha
Jewberg: so i can pretend i like either
KmLDS: Well, I have friends at UCLA, so I guess i can’t hold it against you
Jewberg: hehe
Jewberg: so what are you studying?
KmLDS: public diplomacy
KmLDS: what are you studying?
Jewberg: nothing
Jewberg: im done
Jewberg: but
Jewberg: i did study electrical engineering
KmLDS: that’s great–my roomies are double e
Jewberg: male or female?
KmLDS: male
Jewberg: oh right, no girls in this major
KmLDS: We live in a big house by campus and it’s mixed
KmLDS: haha
KmLDS: exactly
Jewberg: are you still in undergrad?
KmLDS: no, second year master student
KmLDS: I studied Russian in undergrad
Jewberg: let me guess, you are russian? god im good
KmLDS: hahaha not quite
KmLDS: I’ve lived in Russia, but not Russian
Jewberg: what are you?
KmLDS: I should probably throw out there that I’m not Jewish either…
KmLDS: I’m English and Dutch
KmLDS: One of my best girlfriends out here is Jewish, so we were on
jdate today–she has a profile, so we wanted to look around together
Jewberg: i was thinking the LDS stood for latter day saints
Jewberg: and you like the jewish boys
Jewberg: i get it
Jewberg: even though you say culturally jewish but not practicing
KmLDS: ha, you ARE good–I am a latter-day saint
Jewberg: serious?
KmLDS: ha yes
KmLDS: I’m from Utah and studied at BYU
Jewberg: and you like jew boys
KmLDS:
Jewberg: how un joeseph smith of you
KmLDS: lol
KmLDS: i think he liked jews too
KmLDS: good people
Jewberg: everyone does besides germans
Jewberg: we talk funny, we are super neurotic, good with numbers
Jewberg: so how LDS are you? do you go to the giant monstrosity of a
temple on santa monica bvd?>
KmLDS: haha
KmLDS: I am pretty LDS
KmLDS: i do go there
KmLDS: I was just there last weekend actually
Jewberg: so you dont believe in premarital sex?
KmLDS: I believe it happens lol
KmLDS: but no i don’t have sex
Jewberg: man that sucks!
Jewberg: i mean
Jewberg: what i meant to say was
Jewberg: the only reason guys on jdate will talk to non jews is
because we love sleeping with shiksas
KmLDS: ouch
KmLDS: I’ll have to watch out for that i guess
Jewberg: yeah, jews love to knock boots
Jewberg: its not a sin in our religion to knock them prematurely
KmLDS: Yeah, I’ve dated a few and that somehow seems to come up pretty early on
Jewberg: yep, i think its the same for all guys across the board
Jewberg: so are you saying htat if we got married and had kids
Jewberg: when we died we would get our own planet
Jewberg: and for as many kids as we had
Jewberg: we would have that many slaves on this planet?
KmLDS: haha there’s one I haven’t heard before
KmLDS: i’m always fairly entertained by the stuff that gets circulated about us
Jewberg: well one guy wouldnt deny it
KmLDS: who’s that?
Jewberg: some LDS guy i went to high school with
Jewberg: i think some catholic kid told me to tell this to him
KmLDS: I’d say people end up misunderstanding us quite a bit–we do
believe in having eternal families
KmLDS: and continued creation
KmLDS: meaning continuation of families, having children, etc
KmLDS: not sure where the slaves come from
Jewberg: do you give 10% to your church?
KmLDS: yep
Jewberg: blasphemy!
KmLDS: haha
Jewberg: … to a jew
KmLDS: well, from what my jewish friend told me, you can donate money
in a friend’s name to a charity or something
KmLDS: how is that much different?
Jewberg: the word can
KmLDS: my 10% goes to humanitarian efforts, welfare, etc
KmLDS: the word can??
Jewberg: we CAN give money
KmLDS: oh, haha
KmLDS: I choose to pay tithing
KmLDS: it’s not forced on me
Jewberg: is it tithilating?
KmLDS: it’s a belief
KmLDS: i believe it, so i pay it
KmLDS: ha
Jewberg: i get it, we have our own crazy beliefs
Jewberg: did you know jews believe in reincarnation?
KmLDS: hmmm…no i didn’t
KmLDS: how does that work?
KmLDS: I did have a jewish friend tell me she was sure I had been a
liberal hippie jew from upstate ny in a former life, so I guess that
goes to show it
Jewberg: so you smoke weed and listen to phish
KmLDS: ha no
KmLDS: they just think i would if i wasn’t mormon
KmLDS: we’re just a lot alike
Jewberg: not even close!
Jewberg: did you know we also dont believe in eternal damnation?
KmLDS: i meant my friend and i–we’re so alike
Jewberg: oh i get it
KmLDS: we don’t believe in the standard christian eternal damnation either
KmLDS: we believe everyone receives some kind of reward, just to
varying degrees
Jewberg: so how come you arent married with 14 kids yet?
KmLDS: you have no idea how often i get asked that lol
KmLDS: i am a little old to not be married in my culture
KmLDS:
Jewberg: yes, yes, go on, tell me what happened
Jewberg: im here to listen
KmLDS: Appreciated. hmmm…what happened? I guess I just haven’t
found something that felt like what I wanted yet
Jewberg: what do you want?
KmLDS: lots of great guys, but maybe just not heading in the same direction
Jewberg: guys have to be brainwashed to settle down
KmLDS: I’d say someone intelligent, but that doesn’t take himself too seriously
KmLDS: funny
KmLDS: someone who thinks i’m funny
Jewberg: flattery will get you everywhere
KmLDS: I’ll have to try that out
Jewberg: somehow i dont think you want to go to the same places i do
KmLDS: where are those?
Jewberg: to my room
Jewberg:
KmLDS: hahaha
KmLDS: In another life perhaps
Jewberg: thats a good one
Jewberg: normally i hear in your dreams mr
KmLDS: lol maybe mormons aren’t so bad after all, eh?
Jewberg: well , i know one thing you wont be good at
Jewberg: so how do you like going to a school named after a condom brand?
KmLDS: lol
KmLDS: is that what you think i wouldn’t be good at?
Jewberg: yeah
Jewberg: no experience means no good
Jewberg: 
KmLDS: You have no idea…
KmLDS: but i’m going to let you keep thinking that
Jewberg: haha seriously, how would you know?
Jewberg: dont tell me you LDS girls are like persian girls
KmLDS: ha no
Jewberg: do you even know what i meant?
KmLDS: pretty sure yes
Jewberg: go on, lets hear it
KmLDS: oh wow
KmLDS: i think i’ll keep that one to myself
Jewberg: oh cmon
Jewberg: tease
KmLDS: you jewish boys are nothing but trouble
Jewberg: thats why you like us
KmLDS: perhaps…
Jewberg: what else do you like about us
KmLDS: Since I’ve only gone out with a couple of jewish boys, and
they were both reform, i guess I can’t make too many final
statements–
KmLDS: but funny, intelligent,
KmLDS: straight forward,
KmLDS: a little scandalous but in a fun way
KmLDS: completely incourigible (no idea how to spell that)
Jewberg: incapable of being corrected?
Jewberg: you mean stubborn?
Jewberg: so did you come to jdate as your new mission?
Jewberg: are you trying to convert us all?
KmLDS: hahaha no way
KmLDS: I purposely do not try to convert jews
KmLDS: yes stubborn–and seem to always find myself saying to
them–no REALLY I don’t do stuff like that lol
KmLDS: nah, it really depends on which guy
KmLDS: one can’t help but try, the other only when he had been
drinking in Moscow–vodka is strong haha
Jewberg: yes it is!
Jewberg: hey ms lds, i have to run
Jewberg: but good luck in your quest
KmLDS: it was a pleasure
KmLDS: thanks
Permalink
Posted in um yeah at 10:21 pm by Heebus
Jewberg: hi
*** Waiting for SingerSIngforMe to connect
*** SingerSIngforMe’s IM window is open
SingerSIngforMe: hi
Jewberg: hows it going? what are you still doing up 
SingerSIngforMe: studying for philosophy final
Jewberg: where do you go to school?
SingerSIngforMe: Pepperdine
SingerSIngforMe: LMU is our rival
SingerSIngforMe: they SUCK
Jewberg: a jew at pepperdine
Jewberg: oh i know
Jewberg: im from LA
Jewberg: do you live in malibu?
SingerSIngforMe: yeah, they’re ridiculous
SingerSIngforMe: yes i live on campus
Jewberg: where did you grow up?
SingerSIngforMe: Arizona
Jewberg: what brings you to jdate?
SingerSIngforMe: friendship pursuit
Jewberg: friendship?
SingerSIngforMe: ja
Jewberg: its called jdate
Jewberg: not jfriend
SingerSIngforMe: it was an option in the profile creation process
SingerSIngforMe: so i assume it’s an exceptible goal, no?
Jewberg: yeah but what guy wants a friend?
Jewberg: in theory yes
Jewberg: guys only want friends for sex with no attachments
SingerSIngforMe: you guys don’t dig friendships?
SingerSIngforMe: wow.
SingerSIngforMe: that’s quite blunt
SingerSIngforMe: i suppose this means I’ll have to make myself
available for sex with no attachments then, if that’s what you all
require of a poor female?
Jewberg: well a friend is cool if you like to do cool friend t hings
and then get naked later
Jewberg: but thats called dating
SingerSIngforMe: really? i thought dating was when a boy buys me
dinner and i go home with a free meal in my stomach.
SingerSIngforMe: now you know what women want.
Jewberg: noooo, thats called being duped
Jewberg: a date is when you tell a girl you have dinner plans and
then meet her for a drink
Jewberg: and get her drunk
Jewberg: and take off her clothes
SingerSIngforMe: the alternative is called prostitution.
Jewberg: and spend no more than $40
SingerSIngforMe: well hey!
Jewberg: girls are experts at prostituting themselves or swindling
SingerSIngforMe: or you could be a gentlemen
Jewberg: whats a gentleman
SingerSIngforMe: buy her less than 40 dollar meals
SingerSIngforMe: form a relationship
Jewberg: a guy who buys girls free dinners?
SingerSIngforMe: and have sex for the rest of your life
Jewberg: with just one girl?
SingerSIngforMe: haven’t you ever heard of a good investment?
SingerSIngforMe: you also avoid getting unsightly diseases!
Jewberg: yeah, but thats not a girl
SingerSIngforMe: and hey, everyone can appreciate that.
SingerSIngforMe: ..or perhaps not
Jewberg: girls suffer from diminishing returns
Jewberg: you dont get better with age
SingerSIngforMe: apparently..
SingerSIngforMe: neither do you…
SingerSIngforMe: cuz DAMN
Jewberg: we get better looking and make more money
Jewberg: and you are about at your peak right now
SingerSIngforMe: mm jdate.
SingerSIngforMe: the best of the best i suppose
Jewberg: well i dont think this has anything to do with culture or religion
Jewberg: this is just how it is
Jewberg: men will go to extraordinary lengths to get laid
Jewberg: and girls will take as much as they can from a guy while
trying to minimize the amount they put out
SingerSIngforMe: i don’t function that way.
SingerSIngforMe: if that makes you happy hokay.
Jewberg: how do you function?
SingerSIngforMe: respectably
Jewberg: define respectably
*** SingerSIngforMe’s IM window is closed
Jewberg: is that a word that isnt in your vocabulary?
*** Waiting for SingerSIngforMe to connect
*** SingerSIngforMe’s IM window is open
SingerSIngforMe: it is
SingerSIngforMe: but i’d rather not talk to you anymore
SingerSIngforMe: i don’t think we’d make very good friends, sadly.
Jewberg: the truth hurts doesnt it
Jewberg: you dont like your friends to be open and honest with you?
Jewberg: or you just want to choose what you want to believe in
SingerSIngforMe: i don’t like the way you operate
Jewberg: smooth operator
SingerSIngforMe: it’s not at all what i think relations between
women and men ought to be
SingerSIngforMe: i have standards
Jewberg: haha and i think it ought to rain donuts
Jewberg: doesnt make it possible
SingerSIngforMe: that don’t include how you conduct yourself
Jewberg: listen
Jewberg: i dont like how things are
Jewberg: but i didnt make the rules
SingerSIngforMe: don’t hate the player?
Jewberg: i just know how not to get taken advantage of
SingerSIngforMe: if women accept your shitty offer
Jewberg: im not even a player
SingerSIngforMe: who am i to stop them
Jewberg: shitty?
SingerSIngforMe: anyway,
Jewberg: im an original feminist
SingerSIngforMe: have a good evening
*** SingerSIngforMe’s IM window is closed
Jewberg: i treat women as equals
*** Waiting for SingerSIngforMe to connect
Jewberg: they have to pay their way, just like i did
*** Waiting for SingerSIngforMe to connect
Permalink
Posted in um yeah at 10:19 pm by Heebus
Jewberg: hi
*** Waiting for sportsfannyla to connect
*** sportsfannyla’s IM window is open
sportsfannyla: hi
Jewberg: hows it going? long time no chat
sportsfannyla: i know
sportsfannyla: pretty good
sportsfannyla: how are you
Jewberg: good, how come every girl on facebook has a status related
to colors right now?
sportsfannyla: oh yea
sportsfannyla: i saw that
sportsfannyla: and then someone on fb said its because of some charity thing
Jewberg: hmm interested
sportsfannyla: yea
sportsfannyla: whatever
sportsfannyla: charity
sportsfannyla: pfh
sportsfannyla: jk
Jewberg: haha
Jewberg: what color is your bra?
Jewberg: whats your name by the way? im heebus
sportsfannyla: are you serious
Jewberg: haha its an innocent question
sportsfannyla: what color is your jock strap
Jewberg: cream like everyone elses
Jewberg: by im wearing spongebob boxers
Jewberg: if you must know
sportsfannyla: hot
sportsfannyla: heebus mcjewberg
Jewberg: how do you know my name?
sportsfannyla: magic
Jewberg: are we facebook friends or something?
Jewberg: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think i get it
sportsfannyla: ?
Jewberg: you are friends with arielle?
sportsfannyla: wtf
sportsfannyla: who is that
Jewberg: how do you know my name?
sportsfannyla: it’s your screen name
Jewberg: no its not
Jewberg: my screen name is jewberg
sportsfannyla: how else would i know your name
Jewberg: whats your name?
sportsfannyla: what do you want it to be
Jewberg: whatever it really is
sportsfannyla: rachel willis
Jewberg: who you talking about willis
Jewberg: you are too young to get that i think…
Jewberg: so rachel willis, what are you up to this evening?
sportsfannyla: hangin with my ladies
sportsfannyla: and yourself
Jewberg: whatcha doin with your ladies?
sportsfannyla: hanging around
sportsfannyla: what are you doing on this crazy thursday night
sportsfannyla: ?????
Jewberg: just chillin , going to bed soon
sportsfannyla: awww sad
Jewberg: i have a work in the morning
sportsfannyla: laaame
sportsfannyla: its thurtsday!
sportsfannyla: party night
Jewberg: so come party
sportsfannyla: where at
Jewberg: my house
sportsfannyla: thats not very specific
Jewberg: marina del rey
sportsfannyla: whoaaa
sportsfannyla: i don’t know how to swim
Jewberg: i dont live on a boat
sportsfannyla: oh thank god!
sportsfannyla: do you have a biiiiig house
Jewberg: huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge
sportsfannyla: how big
Jewberg: 5 bedrooms
sportsfannyla: maybeeeeee
sportsfannyla: you come here
Jewberg: cant, have work in the morning
sportsfannyla: what do you do
Jewberg: what do you want me to do?
sportsfannyla: be a firefighter!
Jewberg: whoa, you are psychic
Jewberg: im totally a firefighter!
sportsfannyla: come put out my fire
Jewberg: do you have a fire crotch?
sportsfannyla: im a brunette
Jewberg: whats your number?
sportsfannyla: 408 ima slut
Jewberg: where is 408
sportsfannyla: in my vagina
sportsfannyla: is that a bad place to be
Jewberg: i dont know? how big is it?
sportsfannyla: its tight
sportsfannyla: u callin??
sportsfannyla: ??
sportsfannyla: ew u hung up??
Jewberg: i can see through your shirt in your pic
sportsfannyla: no u cant
sportsfannyla: are you superman
Jewberg: i have a super huge cock
sportsfannyla: prove it
sportsfannyla: go on webcam
Jewberg: i dont have a webcam
sportsfannyla: liar
sportsfannyla:
sportsfannyla: ok well have a good night then i guess alone in ur bed
at home by yourself?…
Jewberg: big house, big bed, big cock
Jewberg: no poon for it
sportsfannyla: poon?
Jewberg: you know, that giant gaping vagina of yours?
sportsfannyla: what?
Jewberg: you know, that cavernous fish cave you call your vagina
sportsfannyla: what the fuck!
sportsfannyla: come over
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